Thursday, January 21, 2010

The Diamond Engagement Ring "Tradition"

Getting engaged has been one of THE most exciting moments of my life (duh, right?). We received many congratulations the night of, and many more came in as our friends and family heard the news.

When Wendell proposed he mentioned that we have always been an unconventional couple. Firstly, we met online. That was something even I use to tease people about, until it happened to me. I was the one who flew out to meet him. We bought a house together before we were even engaged. And most recently we got engaged sans the "traditional" diamond engagement ring (insert gasps, wide eyed looks and sympathy head tilts here, pffffffft!).

We had been talking about marriage for some time before our actual engagement. There is no doubt in either one of our hearts or minds that we are meant to be together. There aren't sufficient words to explain what this love has done for me, for us and our lives in general. When we realized that money was the ONLY thing keeping us from getting married we decided we were not going to let THAT keep us from tying the knot.

Since our engagement I have taken advantage of sharing the news with just about anyone who cares to hear it (and sometimes those who don't). Co-workers, the bank tellers, the mail lady, neighbors, the cashier at the Mexican restaurant I frequent, you get the idea. There is one thing that bothers me when I do share this news with others and it's not the automatic glance towards my ring finger. I understand how accustomed our society is to the idea of a diamond engagement ring. That doesn't get to me, I even expected the glances and questions in regards to my naked ring finger. What really gets to me are certain reactions I get when I say "there is no engagement ring". I get everything from "awww" accompanied by a head tilt, surprised oh's, to raised eyebrows that come with a matter-of-fact "huh" (insert eye roll here).

The diamond engagement ring isn't even a tradition rooted in romance, it stems from a clever marketing ploy by De Beers that began in the 1930's after the Great Depression. The history and traditions of engagement vary by location, culture, religion, etc. Some are as simple as a man giving a woman a pair of gloves or even a twig! There are many beautiful, rarely practiced traditions (in the true sense of the word) when it comes to engagement that I can't help but wonder how so many were conned into believing that nothing short of a diamond ring would do.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am not anti lavish gifts and diamond rings are lovely items, I just disagree with the concept that they are a necessity. Wendell has demonstrated his love for me in countless ways on a daily basis. I don't need him to dish out two months salary just to reiterate what he's already more than proven to me. Hell, Paris Hilton recieved a 24 carat diamond engagement ring and we (sadly) all know that relationship lasted about as long as a tic tac.

Despite telling him that "the ring" doesn't matter to me he insists on getting me one as soon as possible. I won't deny him that privilege. I'm not one to turn down a gift. I like telling people that he has given me more than I had ever hoped for and has made me insanely happy. There isn't a single gem of any size in the entire world that could hold the value of what that means to me. So, materialistic women can scoff all they want, they'll probably never know a love like ours.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

In Progress.......

It's been almost 20 days since Wendell and I got engaged. How quickly time flies! I've had a lot of fun planning our wedding so far, and we've had a couple of stressful moments, nothing major, but I'm sure it's a taste of what may come. Or maybe not, maybe that will be as bad as it gets.

Now that our mindsets are begining to sync up, the stress has dwindled. Our different ideas are starting to come together nicely and Wendell has been enjoying the free reign I've given him over the STD cards (no, not that kind of STD sickos, Save The Date). I won't give away any details, I'll just say that it'll be the first clue letting everyone know we're not having a typical, foo-foo princess type wedding. That's not us, so we're not going to have one of the most important days of our lives together be about that. There will be some tradition weaved in as we both have love and respect for it, but the day will be very much "us".

We still have a gazillion and a half ideas to sort through. We both like so many different things and like to be creative so that's out biggest challenge at the moment. I've got butterflies like crazy. I don't think I've ever been this excited about something in my entire life! And I love that Wendell is enthusiastic about planning our day. I've never been thrilled about the whole "it's the bride's day" mentality. There are two people involved in a wedding, not just one. But at the same time, he's letting me go a little nuts with my ideas and I'm not complaining.

I was never one of those girls who fantasized about her dream wedding. Not as a little girl, not as a teen, marriage hadn't entered my mind until my mid-late 20's. I must say I'm a little surprised at how excited I am, I knew I would be, but planning this day with Wendell just makes it that much more special.

Stay tuned for some updates. I've got so much reeling through my head you'll probably hear from me more often.


Tuesday, January 5, 2010


Ahh, the begining of a new year. For most of the world it's a cause for celebration, and for many it brings about a fresh start, new goals, a weight loss plan, new found inspiration, etc. This New Year brought me a new relationship status.....ENGAGED! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

We rang in the New Year with a group of Wendell's friends. Well, I should just say "OUR" friends as I have grown to love each and every one of them over the last 2+ years we've lived out here.
Wendell's band, Dharma if you don't already know, had a NYE gig. I know I'm a bit biased, but it was a GREAT show. Wendell was such a showman, I was SO proud. And, it was rather sexy! SEE:

If you haven't had a chance to witness their awesomeness, you can check them out here!

While the next band was playing Wendell interrupted them between songs, apologized for the interrupting and called me up on stage. He professed his love and explained to everyone that we've always been an unconventional couple. Then he proceeded to get down on one knee, took my hand in his and asked me to marry him. Before I had a chance to blink the mic was in my face and the yeses were tumbling from my lips and the tears of joy welled up in my eyes. Here's how it went in pictures: The Proposal.....YES!.....The Celebratory Kiss.....

The band then went into Bryan Adam's Heaven (not the crappy DJ Sammy version). It was a nice touch to a perfect moment. We stood on the dancefloor arms wrapped around each other swaying while the band played. We received congratulations throughout the night and had an amazing night surrounded by friends and well wishers. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect start to the New Year.